Remembering The Point

In the midst of what could become a very stressful week, it's important to recall a few key themes in my life. It's easy to become very microscopically focused and miss The Point.

To that end, this is what I know: God has called me here, to this school for this time. The activities I am involved in may make me go insane because they bump into each other occasionally, but I know that these activities have been given to me for many purposes. Some of these purposes have been seen, and some of them are yet to be understood, but I know that I have learned much from these experiences. I must learn to say 'no' at some point, however, and I have begun making changes in my life to that end.

The Point, however, is this. If I have followed God into these activities, then he will make it so that I can accomplish what I need to accomplish this week. Yes, it will be hard, and yes, I probably will lose at least some of my hair (a phenomenon that is occurring at a rather alarming rate), I will certainly make it to Friday, because God has never left me hanging.

The Point is that in my busyness, I cannot let my identity be stolen from me: I am loved and cared for. God knows what will happen each moment of tomorrow, so there is no point in worrying. There is nothing new under the sun, after all, and if I think I'm busy, I wonder how Adam felt when he had millions of animals to name and his creativity was already running short.

Busyness, or rather worry and anxiety, must not take the forefront; Jesus must be my focus as I seek to accomplish the work that is ahead of me. If Jesus is the focus, peace must follow.

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
--Philippians 4:6-7

"I sought the Lord and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears."
--Psalm 34:4

Still Behind the Curve

As occasionally happens, I had a spiritual awakening today.

I suddenly realized that I am a sinner, that I am saved by the purest grace and love, and that there are many people out there that have never experienced the emotions and experiences that I have. In fact, they are quite probably very foreign.

This morning, as I was experiencing this awakening, I felt, for a moment, as though I were on the outside looking in. I saw the Christian machine and its merchandise and wanted to wretch, yet I understood their usefulness. I saw dusty tomes of theology and doctrines and felt nauseated, yet realized their necessity.

I was, looking back, in some kind of spiritual limbo: seeing things from both the inside and out. And as I entered back into the bubble today, we sang a song:
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure,
That he should give His only Son
To make a wretch his treasure.

I realized, as we were singing, that a friend of mine, who I have been writing back and forth with about spiritual things, has never experienced this love. Further, he has never experienced the Father at all--something I hold as core to my identity has been completely absent from his life. Does he feel treasured? Does he feel valued or wanted? I cannot say.

Yet in these moments I realized that God, rich in mercy, has loved me with the deepest love and made me part of his family. I realized in that moment that I know God, and he calls me friend. This thing I do and live and breathe is not just a thing: it is real and powerful and dynamic and unique.

Normal is not the word for my life. I am not quite sure what is. Beloved is somewhere close; it holds shades of meaning that I want to express.

I highly doubt that this is new for anyone but myself. This is a recurring thing in my life. Just when I think I've got it all down, God shows me that I am still behind the curve.