Wearing New Shoes

Today, a professor told me that, according to my Facebook, I seem pretty swamped.

I brushed aside oddity of a professor commenting on my Facebook statuses, and I told him that I wasn't any more swamped than anyone else--but when I looked at my calendar after the conversation, I realized that this week seems pretty swamped.

I looked at last week--it was pretty swamped, too.

And the week before that. That was a busy week.

And I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, as my grandmother is so fond of saying. This is just what I'm beginning to notice, and to be honest, I'm not all that unhappy with my business. I've been praying that God would let me live a full life--so I'm living a full life.

The problem with all of this is that I am starting to schedule times to hang out with my friends and build relationships. I have to write, in my planner, when I am going to have coffee with so-and-so and when I am going to catch up with my married friend.

In other words, my relationships are starting to merge with my to-do list, and I do not like it.

It's not that I am against being organized and disciplined with my time. It's actually been incredibly helpful to my life.

But what I don't like is growing up, in this area specifically. I realized today that my parents and their friends have to schedule time to be together sometimes two weeks or even a month before it happens. And even then, sometimes they have to cancel last minute, because something comes up.

My mom sees her best friend once a month if she's lucky.

And the reality that this is my future--and really, my present--is uncomfortable. Growing up, becoming an adult, a man, is not a bad thing.

It's like a new pair of shoes that need broken in--good, but new and not as comfortable as the shoes you've worn out. It takes time for you to get used to the new way they feel, but eventually you grow accustomed to them, and even comfortable in them.

And so, for now, I'm wearing new shoes. I'll be honest: I like them a lot. I just haven't quite gotten used to them yet. Really, I am looking forward to getting used to them, but that will just take a few weeks. Or months. Or years.

And then maybe, just maybe, I'll think these shoes are comfortable.